A 'lil more quiet...

[goddess-ofthe-night]

Yeah, do to some reasons of my personal health issue and other reasons I'd probably be a lot less active then I've been the past few weeks.

I'll explain a tad so I wont sound overdramatic to some...
The reason why I started to talk more was to become more into this "fun" group. I had hoped to find a place where I can belong... Since I'm at a place called MozAik, an institution for people who are having a very hard time, .... like I am.
I'll try not to get into details, but I tried to kill myself end of March, and I really try to keep myself bussy around here. To overcome that feeling in thoughts... Especially the desire to join my love in the afterlife... -_-

"Oh wow, the Goddess is serious for once... "*sighs*
I don't know, I tried my best to 'intergrate' here as much as possible for I'm really a person who barely talks when it comes to making friends,
my selfconcidence is on that fact quite low... Hmm, how about as low as Hell could be.

So, I decided to give it a shot, come online more on PBB, especially after therapy. Thought to start 'small'
I noticed it doesn't seem to fall in a few people's kind nature, and I'd really like to apoligize to everyone if they seem annoyed by someone like me.
It was not my intention, I can insure you that, to upset a few people.
I'm not a royal member, just an guest artist here who updates very slowly... But I wanted to give a go.

I'd like to add however, I'm a person who feels very fastly attacked by people, even if it's not, i'd like to run far away from those as possible.
I've been abused in my past, with words and beatings, so I don't want to go through those things again...

Right now I have the feeling to just hide myself back like I used to do, I have really way to many things going on in RL such too.
Especially when it comes to moneytroubles, health and deppression.
My mum has to take a bonescan, they think she might have cancer in her bones, (while we just received good news she doesn't have an evil tumor in her brains) mum can not aford the medications, so I try my best to help her out in these cases. My brother exagerated with the phonebills. So if you really must know, I'm up to my head in debts, and I can't do anything, since I'm very unconfident in my own artwork.
I know many of you people think it's not, but i think it's an artist-self-critism thing.
Plus I've been a total retarded person to help a few people (before I got into debt) by gettin' them a laptop, etcetra etcetra, and now most of those people have dropped me like a stone in a very deep river...


That's why I'll become more quiet arround here. I think I've said to much and people think I'm really strange, (it's an outside problem i have too) I said to much already in this topic...
I just have right now the feeling I don't belong anywhere...
As a child many people told me dirrectly in my face: 'What are you doing here? You don't belong here! Your not like us!'
That feeling I keep gettin' when I try to enjoy myself here or on deviantArt.
And these are the only places I attend too...

I'm sorry for those I dissepointed, once more.
I'll be more quiet from now on...


Many thanks

-K

P.S Don't worry Vanessa and Ronald I'll keep working on the Flash games, comics as promissed
I'm really sorry if I dissepointed you t-t
_________________
Dreams come True if you B E L I E V E in me...
- the G O D D E S S

[Chaosengine]

You don't have to do this. I tried essentially the same thing and it didn't work out so well. You're trying to do the same thing a lot of us are doing, trying to fit in. I know most people here prolly think I'm some emo cry baby whining about my problems... in a way... I kinda am. Isolating yourself won't help.

I don't think anybody hates you. Symphony wants to fit in too, but all the randomness is kinda tuff to keep up with. Just stick to the threads that don't apply to anything too topical and you should be okay.

Besides, if you leave, you'll break poor Aaron's heart!

Don't GO!!
_________________
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster.
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free...
You'll find a god in every golden cloister,
And if you're lucky then the god's a she..."

[xivk]

Proof more of so much evil in this world. esh

But yea dont go or be more quiet, you havent done anything wrong at all and sure your not dissapointing anyone.

and the royal member status doesnt mean anything too and dont have to worry about updates on your work. With your artwork sure anyone would wait as long as it takes. (know comics that take like years to update but we still wait)

But really any reason to feel down isnt needed... always a chance for a come back.

(again not the best of talking so if anything was out of bound my apologies)
_________________
Fursona Info.

I am the ghost of games... What i am, all i will be
-Xivk

[Aaron_Thom]

You don't have to apologize, you've done nothing wrong. Keeping yourself bottled up is a very bad idea. Trust me on this. I have a cousin who went through some serious depression and it almost ruined his life. But he got through it thanks to the help of friends and family. You can too.

You have friends here who want to hear from you. Just by simply talking too us can help you through these hard times. No one should ever feel that they're alone. Just talking to people can help. You don't have to tell us everything. But just talking to us, telling us you're alright, and not giving in to your depression will help go a long way.

You are a good and strong person. You do everything you can to help those you love. Though we only chat online know that we're here for you. If you need to talk to someone then talk to us. We'll listen. We'll be there. There is someone always here willing to listen. So please don't just go hide yourself. Just be yourself.

There are a lot of personalities here and they make me smile all the time. The zany and fun attitudes around here always brighten my day. This a good community. With good people.

So You CAN Pull Through This! And we'll here to help you anyway we can.
_________________
I am what I am and proud to be who I am.
Profile: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=49632&highlight=#49632

[JohnnyPsycho]

Just remember, kiddo, that we're all misfits here... that much has become abundantly clear in the three or so years that I've been a member of the forums. Don't take anything anyone says here too seriously.

I can definitely understand the feelings you have about this place, that a place like this is freeing and you can socialize with like-minded people and leave all the worries of the "real world" behind. It's a beautiful, tempting fantasy to have, really. But you have to remember, this place is a fantasy, it's not real, and that you shouldn't place so much importance in a couple of websites and forums. You need to make your own happiness however you can, and realize the friends you already have that are willing to help you carry that heavy load you've been carrying on your shoulders for so long.

Life has definitely been hard for you, and you've dealt with it amicably. Just don't allow a fantasy world like the Bon Bon forums to tear you down, because you're a strong person. You just haven't realized it yet.

You did nothing wrong, you are always welcome here, and we all love you very much. Stay strong.

-JP
_________________
Johnny's Fanfics (including Sureshot! A Bon Bon Tale)

Johnny's backstory
Johnny, Mark II (Project Aten character)

[Rune174]

I should keep this brief just so you don't have to read a bunch of stuff just to save the time. I know the feeling, and I can only pray that you make a complete recovery from that bout of depression.
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[goddess-ofthe-night]

I'll do my best, I just love this place a lot, and it'snot because of fantasy, it's I can let myself go...
I don' thave to sit down and sit their seriously like: "........... yes, you're right..."

I might be 26 but I'm a kid at heart. I love and i mean, I just love stuff like rolarcoasters, themeparks, tropical swim places (don't know the word in englsih) drawinf unny things
all my life, granma told me: "it's not apporpriate, it's not, trust me, your sick! your to old to do this stuff"
freakin' woman took my dolls and toys away at the age of 12 and putted me in fashion clothes, made me start cleaning, ...
But inside of me, I just wanted to play...
In school people never understood either why I wanted to play, so, i just sat there alone on a bench, no one wanted to play.
No the BAckstreet Boys and Nick Carter and Make up and Armani expensive clothing from Tommy Hillfinger, hunky boys with lovenotes where A LOT more important, while I thought that the newest Disney movie was awesome...


so, when i'm online I feel like I can be a bit more myself in writing down how i feel, how stupid it may sound, like i said in RL i just sit there, do nothing to upset someone...
that's the best thing i think to do...

Probably i got the Micheal Jackson problem, *beeped* up childhood and now continue to look for things that make me feel i have it i supose.
I don't know... I feel like I barely get enough love and attention outside, i'm more of a: "there goes the fat weirdo that does nothing but draw all day, and yet, she aint good in it!!! hahhaa!!!"


*lifts shoulders*
I'm sorry if i dissepoint people sometimes, i hope it's sometimes... It's just hard i supose... *sighs*
_________________
Dreams come True if you B E L I E V E in me...
- the G O D D E S S

[Marx-Paragon]

i have two things to say to you.

first, theres nothing wrong with acting like a kid sometimes. people who act all serious often times dont have a whole lot of fun and they rarely enjoy there lives.(personal observation, dont take that as the word of god)

second, your an amazing artist. i would kill to be able to draw like you. it's a real shame that you dont think that you're a good artist but i believe it's due to most artists being there own worst critics. its something i've seen with many others so i think its natural.

you really should'nt let others run your life. if they end up sucking the happiness out of you there wont be any left for you.
_________________



marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[henkcobra]

Please you don't have to kill to get someones respect.

Just do this for all of us Goddess of the night; be your self, if you stop doing that than you have lost the fun in life.

Continue you artwork, I'm really jealos about how you can drawn and work with stone.

If you want some help from us, I could come to you and chear you up.

We will always be there to help you and accept help from you.
_________________
Avatar: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7830

My favorite RP please join and dominate me : http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6811&start=0

My FA; http://www.furaffinity.net/user/henkcobra/

[Miss Scorpia]

Oh Sweetie. I know what you feel like. You are not alone. I have been there myself. *Gives big hug*
Growing up in an unstaible family, Bullied and beated by all the other kids and bullied by teachers, having to get a job at 11 because my dad went bank-rupt, getting back injuries because of these jobs, forced to stop my dream education because of my health, handling my alcoholic dad, feared to lose my mother and suffered a nerveus break-down a few years ago.

I had often thought about ending the pain. But in the end I never tried. I couldn't do that to my family.
I got help and now I am getting better. And so will you.
You will find that in time it will be easier to handle the pain and slowly it will go away. It just takes time.
There will be good days and there will be bad days. And one day you will discover that the bad days are getting less and less frequant.

<3 Just remember that all of us here on PBB cares about you! <3
_________________
My DA: http://elleboe.deviantart.com/
My furry art gallery
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/scorpia/

[TheBashfulFeline]

[Tursi]

You're awesome, Goddess! Don't worry about post counts, we're always glad to hear from you.

I know life can be tough, but you need an outlet somewhere, so don't close them off. And have all the fun you want! Grandma's from a different era, she means well but the world isn't like that anymore.
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http://harmlesslion.com

[goddess-ofthe-night]

[henkcobra]

you are not the only one who has such feelings. I have them to. But I'm working on them and RP and this forum helps me. But also talking to my family and friends.

Goddes of the Night, I beg you please be you self and let you light shine in the night and let the darkness go away.
_________________
Avatar: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7830

My favorite RP please join and dominate me : http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6811&start=0

My FA; http://www.furaffinity.net/user/henkcobra/

[Tearlach]

Every one has doubts, both about oneself and others. But the great thing is that here you don't have to be your self if you don't want to. If certain others critisise you it is because THEY are jealous of YOUR very great talents. Bullies both physical and verbal only attack because they wish to bring others down to thier level. Such creatures should they ever exsist on this forum would be swiftly delt with.

The short and sweet of it? Stick with us kid! We will look after you and we have got your back covered as my American cousins would say.
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Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/

[xivk]

[Ashton Gray]

There's nothing wrong with being quiet, Karine. I personally go for hours without saying a word and could probably go for days if people would stop speaking to me. There's nothing wrong with being strange, either. It's a lot more fun than being "normal". Besides, would any of us be here if we were'nt considered "strange" by most people? I think not. Talk or don't, it's up to you to decide, but I, for one, can't help but smile when a loveable kitten such as yourself decides to pop up and grace us with her presence and I would be remise to see you go. So what if people say you don't belond somewhere or you're not like them? That says to me that those are people you really do not want to be around in the first place. So just ignore them and do what you like. I highly doubt there is anyone here who would think that. And if there are, I say this: The hell with them. We'll take our cuddly kitten goddess artist over your discriminatory ass any day. And finally, it's as Miss Scorpia says. We love you, Karine, and that won't change any time soon. So chin up, little one, and have some fun.
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Silentium est aurum

[Lidia_Apricot]

*hugs little Goddess*

Everyone has already took what I want to say. ^^! So, I won't be a broken record. But, they're right, Ms. Goddess! :3 Don't let others get you down! Not even your family members! The only person could pick you up and keep on going is you!

But, like everyone said here, We care about you and we'll welcome with open arms and we'll listen and read about your life with ears and eyes wide open. :3

Besides, If you stay quite here, I won't be able to cuddle your adorable, cute, little, kitty body in my arms while I play with your collar bell! ^w^

[Tearlach]

* Rolls out BIG ball of wool* Eyes the ladies expectently. Now this should be fun.
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Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/

[Symphony]

Please don't think that my thread was aimed at you. I didn't want to point fingers at anyone. It was just to express some thoughts I have had for a while now, and something I wanted to talk about.

There's room for all of us here and I certainly don't want anyone to leave.
_________________
Constance Mayflower's bio

Constance Mayflower's diary

The Mayflower Diaries

[LabrnMystic]

*Wades through the ruckus unaffected by it all* Nah. I know the real problem here. Its been too long since your Labrn fix is all. *Picks up the little goddess into his arms and carries her out* You should drop me more notes on FA or Yahoo my dear. I'm never able to stay on long, due to work, but I at least try to reply and leave little notes behind as well...*his conversation fades as they leave the room*
_________________
The suspense is killing me. I hope it will last.

[goddess-ofthe-night]

Labrn fix? XD

your very comfident in that xD

Back on track, thanks you guys, really means a lot to me :3
_________________
Dreams come True if you B E L I E V E in me...
- the G O D D E S S

[Marx-Paragon]

[LabrnMystic]

[goddess-ofthe-night]

[Cassandre]

HOney, I sort of know what you're going through...My parents wer nice, and they wouldn't ever hurt us (my sisters, brother, and I) on purpose, but my siblings were assholes.

Anyway, since no one wants to hear about MY shitty childhood, I'm going to talk about something else, namely how much we care about you, hun.

Karine, we all love you here. I can start a group hug to prove it, too.
Anyway, its hard to explain, but it kind of goes something like this:
We would go to the depths of hell and back just to help you Karine. I'm pretty sure it goes for all of us too.

Please, please, don't leave us, or I'll stalk you until you come back. Mmkay?
Good.
*big hugz*
We love you.
_________________
[insert witty comment]

[goddess-ofthe-night]

i luv you too Cassandre t-----------------------------------t ya sooo adorable
_________________
Dreams come True if you B E L I E V E in me...
- the G O D D E S S

[Ashton Gray]

Like somebody else around here I could mention. *scratches the goddess behind her ears*
_________________
Silentium est aurum

[Cassandre]

me? Adorable?
thank you!
Thats a first...
*scratches Sahtori-baby's ears*
I know right? She's the cutest lil kittencat around.

Or...cubbylion...thing.
Whatever, she's cute.
_________________
[insert witty comment]

[goddess-ofthe-night]

yes yes, all love me cause i'm cute, soon i'll be the ruler of cuteness MUAHHAHAHAHAH
_________________
Dreams come True if you B E L I E V E in me...
- the G O D D E S S