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JOKE:Only in America

 
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:59 pm    Post subject: JOKE:Only in America Reply with quote

Cassie sent this to me. She thought I'd like it. I did, and I thought you guys'd like it.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
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MissSecretAgent
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, sure made me laugh! Thank you Cassandre Laughing
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Marx-Paragon
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

my old man sent me these exact same jokes before, still hilarious though Laughing
god bless the US Cool
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Jerin Nekros
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ah sweet delicious Irony
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hehe, I thought you guys'd like this. Cassie gets a ton of jokes every day from Comedy Central (?) and she'll send the ones she thinks I'll like to me.

Your welcome poeple, who liked it. *^^*
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Poecilotheria_27
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thats funny, they're all very true Surprised
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you.

I have a question though. She told me she gets these from "Comedy Central", but I don't really know what it is..
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Ashton Gray
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Comedy Central is a television channel devoted to varying and increasingly insane forms of comedy. Though, your friend probably meant to go to their website, www.comedycentral.com
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JohnnyPsycho
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That list is much funnier if you read it with Yakov Smirnov's voice in mind... "What a country!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5hEKfxm4M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakov_Smirnoff
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Ashton.

And I'll look those up, Johnny.
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Ashton Gray
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're welcome.
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*^^*

*hugs Ashton*
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Ashton Gray
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*hugs back* One can never have enough hugs.
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Cassandre
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know, right?
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