FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   RegisterRegister   ProfileProfile   Log inLog in 
JOKE: In need of a seat

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    General Forum -> Adult Jokes/Humor & Erotic Stories
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:54 pm    Post subject: JOKE: In need of a seat Reply with quote

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R, and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed elderly woman, and was being used by her little dog.
The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The old woman,with an air of superiority, looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed, and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fife is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, disheartened, but still determined to find a place to rest. However, after another trip down to the end of the train, he again found himself facing the elderly woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady, may I sit there? I'm very tired." Instead, the rude old woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, but you are also ignorant. Imagine!" Without hesitation, or saying a word, the soldier leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train, and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and wailed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman, who had been observing the situation from across the aisle, interjected,"You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand, drive your autos on the wrong side of the road, and now, sir,........you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."


Last edited by Cole Blacke on Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Though.. eat with the fork in the wrong hand?
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent point. I believe that it's something of "proper" etiquette, not necessarily what is most accepted.... Curious
Back to top
View user's profile
Lidia_Apricot
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Posts: 3273

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol. I didn't get the joke until I've read the last sentence.

Great Joke, Mr. Blacke! Where on earth did you come up with such funny jokes....Do you have a files of jokes that you kept to yourself, lol.


Last edited by Lidia_Apricot on Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile
Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing i don't think she could have fitted in the window though Curious
_________________
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lidia_Apricot wrote:
Lol. I didn't get the joke until I've read the last sentence.

Great Joke, Mr. Blacke! Where on earth did you come up with such funny jokes....Do you have a files of jokes that you kept to yourself, lol.

A good magician never reveals his secrets. Wink

....And Drofgod, that would be the reason why we have things like WD-40. Laughing


Last edited by Cole Blacke on Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile
Lidia_Apricot
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Posts: 3273

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cole Blacke wrote:
Lidia_Apricot wrote:
Lol. I didn't get the joke until I've read the last sentence.

Great Joke, Mr. Blacke! Where on earth did you come up with such funny jokes....Do you have a files of jokes that you kept to yourself, lol.

A good magician never reveals his secrets. Wink



Don't you mean a good "comedian." *giggle*
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

(*Facepalm*) I should have seen that one coming....Rolling Eyes
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of WD-40, that reminds me of something I once heard: you only need two things in life - WD-40 and superglue. If it's meant to move and it doesn't, WD-40; if it's not meant to move and it does, superglue.
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
saphron
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Posts: 860

PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tad, i'm sorry but that made no sense.
_________________
why must we fight who we really are?
Back to top
View user's profile
Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You spray WD-40 on something that should move but does'nt, like a door hinge that creaks and slows the door from opening and closing. You apply superglue to something that should remain stationary but keeps moving, like the limbs of a model that won't stay in the position you place it in. Does that help?
_________________
Silentium est aurum
Back to top
View user's profile
Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ya, but it kills the joke behind it. Confused
_________________
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
Back to top
View user's profile
Bestile1
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 836

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i heard it as wd-40 and duct tape
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hehe, duct tape reminds me of another thing..

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You got it backwards Tadelesh.

Duct tape is silver. Silence is golden.
_________________
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh. Does it really matter which way round it's said?
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it looks like I'll have to settle this.....

Back to top
View user's profile
Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Game, set and match to Cole Blacke.
_________________
Silentium est aurum
Back to top
View user's profile
Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Confused if i had a pic. it showed a stick figure with duck tape on its mouth.
It sayed "Duck tape is silver. Silence is golden." man do i wish i bought that shirt now... That is how i learned the saying.
_________________
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That picture Cole posted is where I first saw it.

Personally, I don't think it really matters which way round you say it. It's personal preference, really.

_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
skybourne87
Rank: Rookie


Joined: 20 Jun 2009
Posts: 92

PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

awsome
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    General Forum -> Adult Jokes/Humor & Erotic Stories All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group