FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   RegisterRegister   ProfileProfile   Log inLog in 
JOKE: I heard it from a freind

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    General Forum -> Adult Jokes/Humor & Erotic Stories
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
xxthalexx
Rank: Super Veteran


Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 1159

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:44 pm    Post subject: JOKE: I heard it from a freind Reply with quote

A priest, a teacher, and a lawyer are on a ship. the ship starts to sink. the teacher says "save the children." the lawyer says "Fuck the children." the priest says "Do you think we have time."
LoL Laughing
_________________
don't worry I'm just your average quantum physicist
----------------------
New Fursona
http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10247
Back to top
View user's profile
JohnnyPsycho
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 2311

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rolling Eyes Always the priest jokes... Anyway, I thought I'd add a joke I read in another forum...

So, a Nun, a Rabbi, and a Shintoist priest walk into a bar run by a Taoist. There's a Buddhist playing the piano, accompanied by an Australian aborigine playing the didgeridoo, while a temple prostitute of Ishtar strips on the stage. An atheist, an agnostic, a Unitarian Universalist, and the Archbishop of Canterbury are playing poker. (The Archbishop is thinking of cashing out, the Unitarian just deals, the agnostic can't decide who's bluffing, and the atheist thinks he knows but can't believe it.) Suddenly the high priest of Quetzalcoatl bursts in and hides behind the bar, followed by Khufu, Ghandhi, and a Voodoo priestess. The king of Kumbi Saleh and Tenskwatawa run in and start looking for them. A Wiccan looks in the window and says "there's a Muslim outside who wants to be worked into this joke too, but he says he doesn't want to come in to a bar."
_________________
Johnny's Fanfics (including Sureshot! A Bon Bon Tale)

Johnny's backstory
Johnny, Mark II (Project Aten character)
Back to top
View user's profile
Ronald
Forum Admin


Joined: 18 Oct 2003
Posts: 3670

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL

good one. LOL Laughing
_________________
"Every exit is an entrance somewhere else." -Tom Stoppard

http://www.eadultcomics.com/ - for the best in online erotic adult comics
http://www.eadultgames.com/ - adult games, strip poker, strip blackjack, and more.
Back to top
View user's profile
Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The sinking ship one I've heard many times, it's one of my favorite simple jokes along with my all time favorite joke ever "A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!", but the bar joke Johnny told is priceless.
_________________
Silentium est aurum
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Those are both good. The one I have is pretty clean:
A man walks into a doctor's office. The doctor drones, "I have the results of your test, and I'm afraid you're going to die." The man asks, "How long do I have to live?". "Ten", replies the Doctor. "What the hell does that mean?!", the man demands. "Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks, What?!"
The doctor replies, "Nine."


Last edited by Cole Blacke on Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:15 pm; edited 7 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile
sexymanz
Rank: Chatter Box


Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 928

PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 1:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that would kinda suck... 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! man dies of a heart attack... double whammy...
_________________
I guess im not really going to be a member anytime soon... so please members of BonBon... please help me out with my character discriptions so that way maybe one day a artist here can put a pic of my character on a forum... i would love to see that happen one day... (anyone please?)
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 7:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Picture the scene; A Doctor's office a half-naked man is standing handcuffed between two police men and is talking to a third.
The Doctor is lying backwards over his desk unconscious and badly beaten. The man says : "He told me I was diabetic and had to give up smoking, drinking and sex. Then he said "have a Merry Christmas". Well something just snapped!"

__________________________________
Humor it is a difficult concept: Savvak
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing I could see that one in a movie.
Back to top
View user's profile
Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That doctor was definatly asking for that and if the culprit gets arrested, charged and convicted, there is no justice.
_________________
Silentium est aurum
Back to top
View user's profile
EmperorRevan
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Posts: 277

PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NOW THESE ARE JOKES LOL

(You all earned a sticker saying, "Kein will not bite me HA")
_________________
Make Peace or War$, whatever you prefer. LOL
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That doctor one, for some reason, reminds me of another joke:

I don't swear, I don't drink and I don't smoke... Oh shit, I left my fags in the pub.

_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tadelesh wrote:
That doctor one, for some reason, reminds me of another joke:

I don't swear, I don't drink and I don't smoke... Oh shit, I left my fags in the pub.


I do hope that by "fags", you're referring to cigarettes. Laughing
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Wink
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cole Blacke wrote:
Tadelesh wrote:
That doctor one, for some reason, reminds me of another joke:

I don't swear, I don't drink and I don't smoke... Oh shit, I left my fags in the pub.


I do hope that by "fags", you're referring to cigarettes. Laughing
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Wink
Yeah, I am. I don't refer to homosexuals as fags, if that's what you were hinting at. I forget sometimes what words that I use all the time that Americans don't use, or use but with a different meaning. By the way, I don't actually smoke. I rarely drink alcohol or swear, either. Anyway, that's beside the point.
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Cole Blacke
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 289

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't mean to offend anyone by that. I don't refer to homosexuals as "fags" either, but it is commonly used slang in the U.S., and I just happened to notice the coincidence. I have never smoked either, and I am a firm believer in the values of temperance. I am sorry if I insulted anyone in any way, and I ask for the forgiveness of anyone who was offended. In retrospect, it was rather rude of me, please accept my apologies. Embarassed
Back to top
View user's profile
Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would love to know how and why it came to be that "fags" came to mean "cigaretts" in the U.K. and "homosexual" in the U.S.A.
_________________
Silentium est aurum
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about there, Cole.

I'm not sure it entirely answers your question, Ashton, but perhaps it will give a bit more background: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot

_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ashton Gray wrote:
I would love to know how and why it came to be that "fags" came to mean "cigaretts" in the U.K. and "homosexual" in the U.S.A.


There are a number of such oddites:
"Bum" America=Tramp Britain= bottom
"Fanny" America=bottom Britain="a lady's front bottom" Embarassed
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This just ocurred to me so it's probably wrong:, but fag in the British slang term may be short for faggot which the dictionary describes as "a bundle of small sticks or twigs bound together." which is burned in this case as fuel. So similar to a cigarette.
Though the reference to homosexuality in American culture is so far eluding me.
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

An excerpt from the Wikipedia entry should explain it well enough:

The word faggot has also been used in English since the late 16th Century to mean "old or unpleasant woman," and the modern use may well derive from this. Female terms, it should be noted, are often used with reference to homosexual or effeminate men (cf. nancy, sissy, queen). The application of the term to old women is possibly a shortening of the term "faggot-gatherer", applied in the 19th Century to people, especially older widows, who made a meagre living by gathering and selling firewood. It may also derive from the sense of "something awkward to be carried" (compare the use of the word "baggage" as a pejorative term for old people in general).

_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So "Santa Cruz" means to dress up as Father Christmas and go for a walk on Clappam Common ? Laughing love
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm afraid you've totally lost me there.
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tadelesh wrote:
I'm afraid you've totally lost me there.

My apologies sir, a small joke. Cruze for cruise= a slang term meaning to look for. ie a fight or sex.
Clappam Common is a well known area of park land in London, England used by Gay men to meet. Curious
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Tadelesh
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 1578

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah. Y'see, that's where you lost me, the Clappam Common thing. I live just outside London, and I've never heard that. I do believe it's actually Clapham, but still, not heard that before.
_________________
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
Back to top
View user's profile
Tearlach
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 2914

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tadelesh wrote:
Ah. Y'see, that's where you lost me, the Clappam Common thing. I live just outside London, and I've never heard that. I do believe it's actually Clapham, but still, not heard that before.

Well what's a P among friends. Laughing The more famous or infamous is Hampstead heath, for centuries a area know for murders, suicides and highway men. Twisted Evil
You may have heard of a radio program called "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" in which they have a round called new definitions. Full of jokes like that. Smile
_________________
Terminus: http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=239198#239198

We are grey. We stand between the star and the candle.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/brigwyn/
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    General Forum -> Adult Jokes/Humor & Erotic Stories All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group